An Old Affirmation for Modern Anxiety
Severe weather. Cost of living. Politics. These are just a few examples of the many situations that we as Iowans have faced in the past several months, and likely will continue adjusting to going forward. Of course, this is “big picture” stuff, and doesn’t include the things that we all experience in our personal lives from time to time which can also lead to high stress levels – car trouble, back to school season, moving and employment changes to name a few. It is no wonder that so many of us feel anxious, stressed out or “on edge”. In times like these, in my profession we of course encourage people to utilize their individual coping skills. While of course I would encourage others to do this as well, I want to pass on an old prayer/affirmation that I have found to be useful in modern life.
Regardless of your religious beliefs, the Serenity Prayer is a great formula for coping with the anxiety that comes along as we go about our daily lives.I do not promote any specific religious belief, but many of us know these words from childhood and they lend well as an affirmation. Now, I should note that what I am referencing in this article is the first stanza of a longer prayer. And for those of you who do not know this stanza is: “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference”.
So why does this work so well for anxiety? Let me explain:
- It addresses control. Whether we want to admit it or not, being aware of what we do and don’t have control over is important. We of course have control over ourselves, our own resources, and our own actions. But we cannot control what other people do, what the weather does, or inflation rates. We can acknowledge that those external factors are influencing our emotions (and that is valid, by the way). We can then go on to mitigate anxiety through the use of coping strategies or other interventions. But by having the “wisdom to know the difference”, we can focus our energy on the present moment and on our own locus of control.
- It acknowledges that change takes courage. Anxiety can be valid-if you have a tornado watch, for example, anxiety is a completely normal reaction to a potential threat. By doing things like checking your emergency preparedness kit (or putting one together) you are utilizing what is in your control to mitigate consequences from storm damage as well as your anxiety. But sometimes making changes in behavior or resources takes courage. For example, applying for colleges to increase earning potential and marketability can take courage.. Buckling down on your home budget to start building savings can take courage. Making big changes to our daily lives, even if we are doing so in order to mitigate stress and anxiety and the changes are ultimately positive.
- It prioritizes acceptance. As I said earlier, there are ultimately things outside our control. We can board up our windows and bring in patio furniture, but we cannot change the path of storms or if an employer decides to lay off workers. After we do what we can, what’s left is acceptance. Accepting that you have done all you can, and that now it will be what it will be. That doesn’t mean that you do not continue to “work the problem”-if you are laid off, you start looking for work. If your home is damaged in a storm, you assess and rebuild, even if it isn’t in the same location. But by accepting what we cannot change, by allowing ourselves to let go of the anxiety and the tug of war in our own heads, we open space for ourselves to use coping skills or focus on those things that are in our control, rather than get stuck in anxiety because of the things that we can’t.
Maggie Alton